Holy fucking shit. I cannot believe what a bunch of complete fuckwit bogans we have on this tour bus. To be fair about a quarter of the people are ok, another quarter aren't bogans but aren't anyone you would want to hang out with, but the other half are a bunch of deadshit no-hopers that you wouldn't piss on if they were on fire.
Last night at the flamenco performance was probably one the last straws for me, particularly with one individual who has done nothing but get pissed at every hotel and scoff at the local cultures. He walked out of last nights performance because he didn't like it. Walked out. On the best flamenco dancers in Spain.
I wouldn't walk out of a special needs double amputee ballet performance let alone walk out of a performance that you should be privileged just to be witnessing.
There is a particular crowd on this bus of which this guy seems to be the chief personality to which they all gravitate. Birds of a feather getting pissed together and completely failing to appreciate the cultural experience they're being treated to. I honestly have no idea why they bothered spending their money.
On top of that we have deaf geriatrics, a couple that we expect to be divorced after this tour and a family with 2 kids that are determined not to have anything to do with anyone on the bus (I'm actually starting to empathise, but they're still aloof and snobby), the remainder which is by far the minority, are ok.
That said, it can be safely assumed, I think, that everybody planned to come on this tour quite a fair way in advance. They fact that literally no one on this bus decided to learn a few words in each language to help themselves and also the people that they expect help and service from in these countries is inexcusable.
What is even MORE inexcusable is watching some fuckwit make fun of someone in their own country for how words sound in their language because they can't fucking pronounce them. An example of this sort of witticism was one of the guys saying "Grass up your arse" instead of Gracias.
Bravo wanker, you should write that down for all your little bogan buddies to have a good chuckle.
Another Classic was one of the ladies ordering a hot chocolate from a guy who clearly only spoke Spanish at a road stop the other day. She said "hot chocolate" which he didn't understand, so she helped him out by saying "HOT CHOCOLATE!" which naturally cleared everything up for him. As it turns out he understood "chocolate" so he went to fetch her a Pain au Chocolat thinking that that might be what she was after.
She helped him out again with a very frustrated "no no no HOT CHOCOLATE!" miming a drinking motion. He handed her a chocolate milk. By this stage the subject of our study was nearly apoplectic and another lady who understood some English realised what she was after and offered to heat up the chocolate milk for her. It turns out they didn't even serve hot chocolate at this roadstop but were willing to accommodate the complete fucking moron who didn't bother to check that before she was so rude to complete strangers who were trying to serve her.
I can honestly say that while I am enjoying visiting France and Spain as they form part of my heritage, I am honestly embarrassed to be in the company that I am while we're doing it (Nicky excepted obviously). While there are exceptions, the majority are crude and uncultured and I honestly have no idea what they're doing here.
Ok rant over for now. Can't wait to see what these dicks do when we get to Italy, fortunately we have a week away from them in Venice coming up!
Brandon.
Haha, that's gold. Silly fellow doesn't understand when things are spoken loudly and slowly in a foreign language, even when being asked for something as simple as a hot chocolate! Clearly he shouldn't be allowed to interact with tourists. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI think most of those people are on there to go home as "experienced world travellers" having been drunk in 29 countries in 27 days?
I, for one, loved your rant, and I look forward to cringing as I read of more of the exploits of your fellow explorers. Maybe it's worth sewing a Kiwi flag to your day bag so the euro's won't think you are part of the group! Enjoy your week away from the plebs.
Haha thanks Trent we just enjoyed a good laugh on the bus at your comment. Nicky had a suspicion you would be the first to comment on this one :-)
DeleteI give your rant a 7/10. Some great moments in it and showing great potential (special needs double amputee ballet was an inspired moment), but you need to work on your form and consistency. I want to see more creative insults! And the consistency of your stanzas and pentameter could use a bit of work.
ReplyDeleteOverall not bad, but a bit unpolished.
Haha thanks Derek, always appreciate some constructive feedback. We're jumping back on the tour this evening so I'm sure I'll have some more material soon. Will fire with both barrels next time ;-)
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